A Hospice Story

Turning The Page

Submitted by: Denise Torgerson - July 13, 2017

The story continues…

We do not get over, or complete our grief. But at some point, there is a conscious decision to "turn the page."

It is not about "getting on with it", it is about continuing the story. Continuing your story without the physical presence of your loved one. You turn a page and your grief comes with you, and yet there is an understanding that even with your grief, your story will change.

You turn the page… it is sometimes subtle and sometimes dramatic, everyone is unique, everyone is different. Your life continues and you become aware that a turning, a pivot from the pain, to perhaps appreciation and growth has begun. You begin to create a new normal.

For some this can be difficult. There might be feelings of guilt. The sadness can become overwhelming again. Fear is present. What will my story look like now? How will I even begin to create a life without my person?

However, the decision has been made. The page turns, and even with all of this uncertainty, you know that rebuilding and reclaiming your life is what is required.

It is helpful now to acknowledge your own growth, to acknowledge how far you have come already.

It is helpful to ask the question: what does the relationship with my grief look like now; and, what does the relationship with my person look like now? What would he/she being saying to me if he/she was here?

It might be helpful to create a ritual – how do you honour your choice to turn the page?

It might be helpful to write a letter to your person.

You can reach out, ask a friend for some time to talk it through. There is something about the expressing of your thoughts and feelings that seem to clear some space for you, give you some clarity and even some confidence.

How do we move forward and bring our person with us? Patience is required and self-kindness. How do we create a present moment that is strong and loving while planning for a new future?

The story of your life continues and you carry your memories and the love you shared into the future. The work of grief becomes the work of adjusting to a new normal.

There is hope here.